The Brownie Project

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Oct 19th
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Brownie Bandits Penetrating PA

A local middle school teacher who requested to remain anonymous called police Saturday to report two recent thefts of her homemade brownies. The first disappearance occurred some time between 11:46 a.m. and 12:27 p.m. on Thursday. Having made this delicious dessert for her students, the teacher left the full pan of brownies in her room while attending a meeting. When she returned the brownies were gone. Unlike similar West Coast swindles, the pan remained. “I’ve read about recent brownie attacks in LA. I think I’m very lucky I wasn’t in the room,” the nervous educator told this reporter.

The second theft occurred at this teacher’s home Saturday at approximately 11:15 a.m. “I’d just taken the brownies out of the oven when my front doorbell rang. No one was there. When I returned to the kitchen, the brownies were gone, pan and all, and my back door was wide open.”

Is there a crook connection? Authorities in other affected areas were unavailable for comment. This reporter smells a covert cover up. Similarities between the previous operations and the Pennsylvania plunders are too obvious to ignore. Though unpopular with law enforcement officials, this reporter will continue to cover the migrating marauders. This rash of robberies must not go unpunished.

Last Updated ( Friday, 12 June 2009 09:06 )

 

The Brownie Menace

The spectre of Brownie Thieves has just gotten to be too much to ignore.

While the mainstream press ignores these incidents and various news organizations deem them to be random acts of violence and thievery, people are suffering at the hands of these incorrigable rapscalions.

Something must be done!  Write your congressman! Call your mother! Tell your barber! Post a message on the bulletin board at your bowling league!

Last Updated ( Wednesday, 10 June 2009 18:30 )

Brownie Bandits Penetrating PA

A local middle school teacher who requested to remain anonymous called police Saturday to report two recent thefts of her homemade brownies. The first disappearance occurred some time between 11:46 a.m. and 12:27 p.m. on Thursday. Havi...

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Brownie Thieves in Action

Mom's Tips

 

* Do not bake brownies while alone, but if you must, while they are fresh, keep all your doors and windows locked.
* Never disclose your baking plans to mere acquaintances.
* Never use an exhaust fan while baking brownies. The delicious fumes could travel throughout the neighborhood and attract unscrupulous thieves.
* Beware of beautiful young girls traveling in pairs and wearing black.